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valentines after divorce
The beginning of February signifies two things: We survived the first month of the year; and Valentine’s day is right around the corner. Although seemingly a joyful event, Valentine’s Day is a holiday that many people both love and dread. It can create pressure for people in relationships as well as those not currently in a relationship.

For people who are divorcing or recently divorced, Valentine’s Day may seem especially daunting. Experiencing these challenging feelings is natural. Ruminating on them is optional. There is a better way. This Valentine’s Day provides an opportunity for you to love yourself.

Valentine’s chocolates and candies aren’t the only way that you can be sweet to yourself. As a family mediation center, we support people in believing there is another way. You have a choice to reclaim Valentines Day on your own terms.

Treat Yourself

This Valentine’s Day, you can be the special person in your own life. You have permission to treat yourself with true love and care. You can choose to celebrate everything that you have overcome, the good times and the bad, by choosing to be your own Valentine this year.

There is no better person to celebrate! You can begin by setting up your own traditions this February 14th, such as:

  • Order yourself your favorite meal and have it delivered,
  • Prepare yourself a breakfast in bed,
  • Pick up an arrangement of your favorite flowers,
  • Plan to spend the day reading your favorite book,
  • Listen to your favorite music on iTunes,
  • Or put your feet up and spend some time relaxing.

You deserve your own love more than anything, because beginning to love yourself will change the way you feel about the world. It will give you the courage to do the things that you enjoy and that bring you peace. Valentine’s Day, after all, is all about love.

Reach Out

Whether you spend this Valentine’s Day alone, or with supportive family and friends, you can make it special. Take a risk and set up a virtual party with a friend to celebrate together. You can have a theme, dress up, watch movies together, or have a game night-—this is an opportunity! The more you love yourself, the more you are able to give love to others-—your children, your friends and family, and your community.

Create New Traditions with your Kids

This Valentine’s Day is also the perfect opportunity to celebrate your relationship with your children. You can make it extra special by creating new traditions together, here are a few ideas for you to try:

  • Making Valentine’s Day cards,
  • Creating goody-bags for people you care about or that you know are
  • spending the day alone,
  • Going to the park for a picnic and eating heart-shaped sandwiches,
  • Playing board games and video games,
  • Singing your favorite Valentine themed karaoke songs,
  • Building a fort, making popcorn, and watching a favorite Valentine movie,
  • Decorating special Valentine’s Day cookies and sharing them with others

Empower yourself and model for your children that the most significant love, and the love upon which all other love depends, is the love you give yourself.

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