If you have recently divorced, the holiday season will inevitably be different this year. It is okay if remembering past holidays brings about strong emotions–some good and maybe even some that are challenging. This year, however, you have the opportunity to build a holiday that celebrates YOU and all the things that are important to you. Take your time and know that when you are ready, you can make this season everything you have ever wanted.
How about a new kind of holiday?
This is your opportunity to create a new meaningful and joyful holiday for you and your family. You can start by acknowledging that you made it through a challenging year, and are moving forward, creating a happy, healthy, peaceful future—great work!
We hope that you can celebrate yourself this year, and here are some Ideas to help you get started:
Flexibility is the Name of the Game
Consider embracing flexibility. Ask yourself if the dates and times for celebrations are the priority OR if the focus is making the most of whatever time you have together? When you can adjust to new holiday schedules, your kids reap the benefits! Imagine what a relief it can be for them (and for YOU) if you embrace flexibility and tell them it doesn’t matter what day we celebrate; we will have so much fun!
No matter what obstacles come your way, remember what the holiday season is really about—family. Remember that being flexible with your holiday schedule will benefit your kids most and will benefit you and your co-parent as well. Respect that your co-parent may have something different planned for the kids than you are used to. Take the time your kids are away to focus on, prioritize yourself, and make the time you do have with your kids this holiday season extra special.
And to ensure a healthy and happy holiday, remember it is normal for all of us to experience some loneliness around the holidays. Don’t worry–you’ve got this. Plan ahead to reach out to friends, spend more time on your favorite hobby, read that book you never had time for, use an online divorce coach for extra support, and help you process. Your new schedules can also give you some very welcome and likely overdue, ‘me time.’ So why not embrace change, be flexible, and use this holiday season to reflect, heal and dream big about your amazing future.
It’s Time for New Traditions
The holiday season is filled with traditions. Remember, just because things are different this year doesn’t mean you have to miss out on future holiday traditions. You can and should create your own traditions this holiday season.
Take this time to really be creative.
- Create new stockings to hang on the mantle;
- Bake yourself some yummy Christmas cookies;
- Watch your favorite holiday movies;
- Make / Plan a holiday feast;
- Invite family and friends over for dinner; or
- Do a gift exchange with those closest to you.
The opportunities are endless. Just because things are different doesn’t mean they cannot still be enjoyable. There are ways for you to enjoy this holiday season, no matter what.
For Parents: To help you build new holiday traditions with your kids, here is our Guide To Creative Christmas Plans For Divorced Parents.
Self-care during the holiday season is essential. It can be easy to get caught up in the idea of making the holidays special for your kids and your loved ones. However, we often forget to care for ourselves. Especially now, remember to make the most of the time you have to yourself this holiday season.
While the kids are with your co-parent, use your alone time to treat yourself to the holiday season you deserve. Whether it is buying yourself something you have always wanted or treating yourself to a spa day at your local resort, there are ways to show yourself appreciation this holiday season. You could invite your closest friends, bring your favorite snacks and foods, and put on your favorite holiday movie. You could play relaxing music for yourself and light a holiday candle as you finally get some rest. Don’t forget to prioritize yourself this holiday.
Holidays are meant to bring happiness to friends and families across the globe. Although different, remember to be grateful for all you do have this season. There are ways to celebrate unique to your new family dynamic, which will keep you and your kids excited for the upcoming holidays. Your family will benefit when you use this holiday season to embrace change. Spend it with those who bring you joy. Focus on the activities and new traditions you enjoy most. Prioritize yourself, especially during your alone time this holiday season. This holiday is a chance to focus on yourself and the things and people that make you happiest. Remember you deserve a joyful holiday season too. And from all of us at The Aurit Center, Happy Holidays!