10 Truths About Divorce to give you peace of mind

Court is optional—and simply put: it is the worst available option.

Litigation is all-consuming, stressful and causes harm to everyone involved—and in the end a Judge decides your future.

Leading professionals unanimously agree that divorce mediation is the best way to go through divorce and protect your and your family’s well-being. Avoiding court saves time and money, reduces stress and allows you to stay in control of your own future.

You deserve a healthy process and mediation provides the most positive process possible. 

Your Aurit Center Certified Mediator handles your entire mediation process and you never have to go to court.

“Litigation makes simple things complicated. Mediation makes complicated things simple.” – Michael Aurit

Even though it may feel impossible right now, in mediation you can reach mutually beneficial agreements on every divorce issue.

It’s normal to have some fear or uncertainty about how your spouse will respond in mediation. Relief occurs when cooperation develops momentum. With the guidance of a skilled Aurit Center Certified Mediator you can develop creative solutions to best meet your needs. 

Your agreements arise through a respectful process that ensures each of you has a voice and feels heard and understood. In mediation, you move beyond past problems to focus on finding  agreements you both believe are fair. 

There is always an answer and you can reach your best possible agreements.

“In the midst of difficulty, lies opportunity.” – Albert Einstein

Exposure to conflict harms children—not the divorce itself.

50 years of research confirms that continued conflict between parents, during and after divorce, can lead to long-term emotional and psychological issues for children.

However, when parents constructively manage conflict during divorce, and practice healthy co-parenting afterward, research shows that children do not generally experience long-term emotional issues. 

Research also confirms that parents who work with skilled professional mediators have better long-term relationships with their children than parents who use litigation in court.

 Parenting plans developed under the guidance of a skilled Aurit Certified Mediator provide a solid foundation for healthy co-parenting and protect children from the harm of litigation.

You can be an awesome parent during and after divorce, and mediation supports your short-term and long-term relationship with your kids. 

“When you divorce, you simply restructure your family, not abandon or destroy it.”– Don Saposnek, Renowned Child Psychologist

It’s important for you to understand the law—and the truth is, in mediation, you have the freedom to follow it or to be creative. 

Your Aurit Center Certified Mediator will explain the law so you understand what would most likely happen if your case were taken to court so that you can make informed decisions. They will also share creative solutions that have worked well for people in similar situations. 

In mediation, you have complete control over your agreements rather than giving control over to a Judge. Your mediator’s guidance will allow you to create personalized agreements that you both believe are most beneficial and that best support your family’s needs. 

Your mediator will explain the law and help you develop creative solutions.

“Freedom is control of your life.” – Willie Nelson

Your mediator is with you every step of the way.

We’ve asked thousands of people how they felt at the beginning of their process. Most often we hear that they felt nervous, anxious, emotional, and lonely. Thankfully, the truth is that you are not alone. In addition to supportive friends and family, your Aurit Center Certified Mediator is dedicated to helping you through this process. They can also connect you with other professionals including legal advisors, counselors, and financial experts who can also support you.  

Your mediator works for you and with you.

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.”– Desmond Tutu

The truth is that the more clients argue and fight, the more the attorneys charge in legal fees.

In litigation, attorneys require large retainers and bill hourly which means the longer the case goes on, the more they charge their clients.. Attorneys bill $300 – $500+ per hour for every minute spent on a case—even for time spent reading and writing emails, reviewing documents or simply driving to court. Litigation forces many clients to drain their assets and incur massive debt to pay legal fees.

We believe in a predictable, personalized and fair flat fee approach that removes any incentive to create unnecessary conflict. 

Your Aurit Center Certified Mediator provides an affordable flat fee for your entire process so that you know the total cost before you begin. 

“I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Clients often tell us “we communicated better during mediation than we have in years.” 

Professional mediators work wonders to strategically guide the conversation so that both of you have a voice and feel supported. You will avoid unhelpful arguments and stay on track so that you reach better agreements and get more of what you need. 

In mediation, parents create a foundation for healthy co-parenting and respectful communication in two ways. First, your experience in mediation will help you better understand how to communicate effectively with your co-parent moving forward. Second, you will create agreements within your Parenting Plan that will support healthy communication now and in the future. 

There is an opportunity within this challenge. 

“Dialogue is the most effective way of resolving conflict.” – Tenzin Gyatso

Do more of what brings you peace during your divorce. 

Research shows that people tend to deny themselves things that reduce their stress during divorce. And yet, this is when it is more important than ever to do the things that bring you a sense of peace. 

What are some simple daily self-care habits that bring you good feelings? 

It might be something as simple as taking a 5-minute walk, listening to your favorite podcast, reading just two or three pages of a book you’ve been meaning to read, or listening to your favorite music. The idea is to develop or continue healthy habits that help you reduce stress. 

Allowing yourself to heal at your own pace will help you grow stronger and become more confident and empowered. 

For many people, reaching out to trusted wellness professionals is a higher form of self-care.

Self-care is vital to a healthy process. 

 “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” – Brene Brown

Mediation is up to 4x faster than the average litigated case. 

A shorter divorce process is generally better for your health because it signals cooperation, resolving issues that cause anxiety, and providing you with a sense of stability. 

Mediation is done at your own pace and on your schedule. You can complete your divorce process, from start to finish, in as little as two to four months, compared to litigation which can take a year or more. 

Your Aurit Certified Mediator will help you focus on what matters to support a smooth and efficient process.  

In mediation, you set the pace. 

“Life and time are the best two teachers. Life teaches us to make good use of time and time teaches us the value of life.” – Jay Shetty