THE AURIT CENTER Divorce mediation is a positive, cost-efficient way of separating that allows you to stay in control of the outcome rather than a judge making decisions for you. Most importantly, it prioritizes the well-being of your children.
Divorce can be challenging, but it doesn’t have to be a battle.
So, what steps should you take before, during, and after mediation to ensure the best outcome for you and your family?
The Complete Divorce Mediation Checklist will break down the divorce mediation process from start to finish. This is your comprehensive checklist, and it will get you started on a successful mediation experience.
Understanding the process and some preparation are key to successful divorce mediation.
Here are a few important things to keep in mind:
Your mediator will help you and your spouse reach an agreement on all issues of your divorce. It’s important to find someone who is experienced, impartial, and trustworthy.
Start by researching mediators in your state who specialize in divorce or family matters. Positive online reviews and testimonials can help guide your decision. Aurit Center Certified Mediators have the highest qualifications in the nation; as such, they are known as leaders in the mediation community.
Therapists and friends who have gone through, or are familiar with, divorce mediation are also excellent sources for recommendations. Their experiences and insights can help you narrow down your choices.
Once you have a list of mediators, schedule initial consultations to ask questions and get to know them better. A free consultation is a positive sign.
Here are some important questions to ask your potential mediator:
When interviewing mediators, take your time and trust your instincts.
You should feel comfortable with the person you select. Keep looking until you find someone you feel is honest, genuine, sympathetic, and compassionate. Choosing an impartial mediator who will support you both throughout the mediation process is essential.
Compromising can be difficult, especially if you’re feeling hurt or angry.
However, it doesn’t mean giving up what’s important to you. On the contrary, it’s about finding common ground and reaching mutually beneficial agreements—agreements that work for both of you.
Mediation aims to find solutions that benefit all parties.
Creating agreements that work for both of you means acknowledging that you both have valid feelings.
It’s okay to take breaks if emotions run high. You can save challenging conversations for your mediation meetings, where your supportive mediator can help you to develop creative solutions. It is perfectly normal to need some time to reflect so that you can arrive at and leave each meeting with a clear mindset.
Remember, your mediator is there to support you both and help find fair and equitable solutions.
Every divorce is unique and has a wide variety of components, such as real estate, businesses, retirement accounts, parenting, or even beloved pets.
Your mediator will identify every issue of your divorce in mediation. Here is a head start on the most common issues discussed and agreed upon during these sessions:
Having identified the key issues in your divorce, you can start considering how to address them. Doing some research about your available options is encouraged.
First things first: take a deep breath and relax. Organizing your financial information might seem overwhelming, but it is easily manageable if you use this checklist. The divorce process can go even more smoothly if you have everything ready upfront.
Your mediator will let you know what you need before your first meeting. They will also encourage you not to worry if you are unsure about any items, as they will provide guidance during your meetings.
While the necessary information will vary depending on your unique situation, you’ll typically need access to at least the most recent statement that verifies the following:
Remember, organizing all your financial information takes some time, so be patient with yourself. Breaking the process up into stages and addressing them one at a time makes the task more manageable. If you have any difficulties or questions about specific documents, your mediator is there to guide you.
A positive and productive mediation experience begins with establishing goals and ground rules.
When children are involved, you’ll need a sustainable co-parenting plan that meets their physical and emotional needs. In this scenario, some ground rules might include listening to each other without interrupting and avoiding hurtful language when disagreements do occur.
Aurit Center Certified Mediators establish clear ground rules to guide you through a productive, focused, and thoughtful process. They will keep you both on track by reminding you of your goals and upholding your ground rules to help ensure a respectful process and successful outcome.
Respectful communication during negotiations means considering the other person’s concerns, being open to compromise, and expressing your feelings honestly.
It’s completely normal to feel strong emotions during the mediation process. Acknowledging them can promote mutual understanding and more effective problem-solving.
Your mediator will help you find ways to communicate that make sense and work best for each of you.
Respectful communication increases your chances of reaching an agreement that meets both of your needs, prioritizes your children’s well-being, and paves the way for a healthier co-parenting relationship.
Getting the divorce terms in writing helps ensure that everyone is on the same page before signing the divorce settlement agreement.
In many states, your divorce mediator will be able to write your final legally binding judgment, which is called a Divorce Decree, Marital Settlement Agreement, or Mediated Settlement Agreement (MSA).
In other states, your mediator will be able to write a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) that can be used by a separate individual—usually an attorney—to draft your Divorce Decree.
After all agreements are reached during the mediation meetings, both spouses review and sign the Divorce Decree or MSA. This final document contains all the agreements the spouses reached during mediation.
Take the time to review the agreement carefully. Ensure that everything aligns with what you and your spouse discussed and agreed upon. If you have any questions or concerns, don’t hesitate to consult with your mediator. You can also get legal advice from your own legal advisor or attorney before you sign.
When both spouses sign the MSA, it becomes legally binding. It is important to only sign it when you’re comfortable with the terms.
Your MSA is then submitted to the court, where a judge will finalize it. This step finalizes your divorce and makes all of your agreements legally binding and enforceable. In most states, your mediator submits the MSA for you.
Signing your final divorce documents can provide a much-needed sense of closure and help you see the future in a more positive and optimistic light.
After completing your divorce, you’ll need to put the agreements and decisions you made during mediation into action. This means working with your spouse to stick to the terms outlined in your parenting plan, co-parenting schedule, and any other agreed-upon arrangements.
Adapting to post-divorce life takes time for everyone, especially when there are children involved. Successful co-parenting requires keeping communication lines open, being flexible, and maintaining a focus on what is best for your kids.
Post-divorce arrangements–such as changing titles to residences or vehicles, or transferring retirement accounts–occur after the divorce finalization. Title changes can be handled on your own, or you can contact an attorney to assist you. You can then provide a copy of the Decree to your financial institutions to carry out the terms of your Decree.
When challenges arise, approach them with patience, empathy, and an open mind.
Finalizing your post-divorce arrangements and practicing self-care helps you heal emotionally and move forward.
Here are five tips for much-needed self-care after divorce:
Divorce mediation can be an opportunity for positive change and growth.
Treat yourself with patience and compassion, and don’t hesitate to get help if needed. You have the strength to create a fulfilling life for yourself after divorce.
Here is a checklist to help you jumpstart your mediation process:
Choose an experienced mediator
Compromise
Identify the most important issues, which might include your desire to
Organize financial information
Establish goals and ground rules
Practice respectful communication
Document the divorce terms
Revisions – Review and finalize the settlement agreement
Court filing – Implement the settlement agreement
Healing and moving forward
Mediation provides a caring and affordable approach to amicable separation. This makes it the preferred option for a healthy divorce.
Our experienced mediators will walk with you every step of the way.
The Aurit Center for Divorce Mediation is committed to helping you navigate divorce in a way that saves you time, money, and unnecessary heartache.
We’re here to help you take charge of your future, protect your children’s well-being, and avoid the emotional and financial toll of a courtroom battle.
Get started today by scheduling a free consultation with The Aurit Center.
