The Ultimate Guide to
Divorce Mediation

What are the different stages of the mediation process?

Schedule your free 1-hour consultation: An expert mediator will explain the process and answer all of your questions.

Reach personalized agreements: Your mediator will raise each financial and parenting topic, explain the law, and guide a respectful conversation so that you reach your best possible agreements. You will understand all of your options and make agreements that work best for you and your kids.

Finalize your divorce documents: You will each review your agreements and get legal advice—if you’d like. After you both approve and sign your final documents, they are filed with the court, and the judge finalizes your divorce.

Gathering information

State law requires divorcing spouses to share information about:

• the things they own,
• any money they owe, and
• the income they make.

To organize this information, you will receive a Mediation Questionnaire before your first mediation meeting. Your mediator will answer any questions you have about financial information or documents.

Topics of discussion

Your Aurit Mediator will bring up all of the divorce-related topics that you need to discuss. They’ll also explain any legal concepts that you need to know to decide what will be best for your situation.

Three main topics are often central to divorce mediation:

• child custody and parenting time;
• marital property, also called shared, common or community property; and
• financial support.

Every divorce is different. Mediation is personalized to your unique needs.

Your expert Aurit Center Mediator will help you identify topics and guide the conversation toward the best solution for your family.

Finalizing your divorce

Once you and your spouse agree on all divorce matters, your mediator will document the terms in writing and prepare legal documents.

After you’ve both reviewed, approved, and signed your documents, it goes to the court for approval. And when the judge approves it, the divorce is official.

Each step on your divorce mediation journey is about working together, talking openly, and respectfully reaching agreement.

Schedule a consultation with an Aurit Center Certified Mediator near you to learn more about your state’s mediation process.

Resources

• How your mediator can help you

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In divorce mediation, your mediator will guide you both in talking about how best to divide assets and debts.

What types of assets and debts can be divided in divorce mediation?

In mediation, you’ll discuss all of the assets and debts acquired during your marriage.

Your mediator will explain options, offer suggestions, and guide you and your spouse to decide what’ll happen with each asset and debt.

You’ll each have a chance to voice your perspectives as you make a personalized plan. The goal is to reach agreements that are acceptable to both of you.

Divorce mediation is much more flexible than court litigation. There’s far more room to creatively divide assets in a way that feels fair.

To illustrate, let’s consider a family home.

In court, Judges use strict state law that can result in an immediate forced sale of the home.

In mediation, you can take a flexible approach that works best for you and your family. If you decide to sell the house, you control when and how you will manage the sale, and you choose how to divide the proceeds.

Oftentimes, one spouse wants to keep the home. In mediation, the amount and timing of a “buyout” is agreed on so that the other spouse gets their fair share. Your mediator will help you make a plan that may include refinancing or other creative ways to make a buyout work for both of you.

Spouses can come up with creative solutions that work for their unique circumstances. For instance, one spouse might keep the home while the other receives equal value from retirement accounts. Some spouses may decide on a “delayed sale” agreement. Some spouses even decide to continue jointly owning the home as an investment property.

When a judge decides what happens with the house, both spouses are often unhappy with the decision. In mediation, spouses have complete control of their agreements and have more peace of mind moving forward.

Get your free Complete Divorce Mediation Checklist to begin organizing your financial information and get a head start preparing for mediation.

What is community property in Arizona?

Family courts split shared marital property (common property) based on state guidelines. In contrast, in mediation, spouses choose how this split happens.

Arizona uses community property laws. These laws divide assets and debts 50/50, half to one spouse and an equal half to the other.

Although property division can be complex, in mediation, spouses create personalized agreements to divide assets and debts in the way that works best for them.

Resources

• How your mediator can help you

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After a divorce, the person with the higher income may need to make alimony and child support payments. This financial support lets children and co-parents maintain their pre-divorce standard of living.

Alimony and child support laws vary from state to state. Your mediator will make sure you have all the information you need to make the best possible decision.

Child support

Generally, child support payments cover the cost of the children’s education, mental and physical health, and day-to-day expenses.

Arizona courts have unique guidelines that determine child support amounts. These one-size-fits-all formulas don’t take your family’s unique circumstances into account.

In mediation, child support begins with a guided, respectful conversation that helps parents reach their best possible agreements. Aurit Center mediators are well-versed in state support requirements and family laws.

Spousal maintenace

Also known as alimony, spousal maintenance helps both spouses maintain financial stability after divorce. In court, alimony payments are based on factors like:

• the length of the marriage,
• income disparity (difference in income between spouses), and
• living standards.

With the guidance of your Aurit Center Certified Mediator, you and your spouse can create agreements that work for you. Using Arizona's spousal support calculator, your mediator will show you how a Judge would likely rule on alimony in court.

Post-divorce budgets

Your Mediation Questionnaire, provided by your mediator, will allow you and your spouse to understand your monthly expenses, including:

• housing expenses,
• utilities,
• food,
• insurance,
• personal expenses,
• and more.

Your mediator will help you each create an estimated budget for when you live separately after divorce. This is an effective way to reach creative agreements on child support and spousal maintenance — if applicable.

The goal is continued financial stability for both of you.

Resources

• How your mediator can help you

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Mediation puts kids first.

How you and your spouse communicate during your divorce will shape how you communicate afterward, as co-parents. Your mediator will help you and your co-parent communicate respectfully and find the best possible agreements that support your kids.

Prioritizing your children

Research shows that parents who use divorce mediation have better long-term relationships with their children compared to parents who litigate in court.

When family law attorneys or divorce lawyers pit parents against each other, children can easily get caught in the middle. The psychological effects can be devastating.

In mediation, co-parents share the goal of doing what is best for their children. This team mindset makes it easy to come up with creative solutions that work for everyone.

Creating a parenting plan

In mediation, co-parents work together to create a detailed parenting plan. A parenting plan covers everything related to your children’s upbringing. It outlines everything from who will pick them up from school to where they’ll spend the summer.

Even if you and your co-parent can’t seem to agree on anything, an Aurit Center Mediator can help.

Your mediator will help you talk about what you feel is best for your children. Through balanced conversation and compromise, your mediator will help you work together to customize your parenting plan.

If child support agreements or parenting plans need to be updated after a divorce is final, co-parents can skip the courthouse by making updates in mediation. Mediation is your safety net as you co-parent over time.

Parenting Plan terms to know

Parenting time describes how each of you will share time with your kids. It’s personalized to your schedules and needs. It covers:

• weekly schedules,
• pick-up and drop-off arrangements,
• holidays,
• travel, and
• vacation time.

Legal decision-making describes who will make decisions about your children’s care. This includes medical and educational decisions. It can be shared by both parents or assigned to one parent. You can reach creative legal decision-making agreements in mediation.

The term ‘finances related to children’, describes the costs related to:

• child support,
• medical care,
• after-school activities,
• education, and
• tax issues related to children.

Preserving parent-child relationships

Mediators help co-parents stay focused on the needs and interests of their children.

This helps them reduce conflict and goes a long way toward healthy parent-child relationships.

Providing structure and consistency

Generally, children thrive when their lives have structure and consistency. Even the simplest daily routines help children adjust and feel safe. Being able to predict what comes next gives them a sense of stability and security. The good news is, even as you are parenting from two homes, you can provide your children with structure, consistency, safety, stability and security.

How?

As you build your custom parenting plan, your mediator will help you find ways to address your kids’ needs.

Minimizing conflict

Children are resilient and able to move through transitions. However, conflict during and after the change can have lasting negative effects on them. In mediation, you can build a strong foundation for healthy long-term co-parenting relationships.

Arranging parenting time

It's common for children to feel torn between their parents during divorce. The parenting time schedule you choose is very important to help your kids adjust. Children benefit when their parents create a parenting time schedule that maximizes time they spend with each parent and considers:

• the parents’ schedules,
• kids’ schedules, and
• generally what is in the best interests of children.

When parents reduce conflict, research shows that it is always beneficial for children. Rather than focusing on the concept of joint custody or sole custody, parents are wise to develop a schedule that works best for everyone.

When alternatives are necessary

Mediation is successful even when there is high conflict between spouses. In some specific situations, it may be necessary to carefully consider alternatives. These situations might include:

• when one spouse refuses to mediate;
• in cases where domestic violence or abuse is recent and severe; or
• when there is concern for either spouse’s or the children’s safety.