The Complete Guide to Online Dating After Divorce

You’ve been through a major life change. You’ve grown, learned, healed, maybe still healing. And now, here you are staring at an empty dating profile wondering what to write, what photos to choose, and probably feeling a little anxious and excited about this new adventure.

The good news? Your life experiences and clarity about what matters to you, along with a bit of courage, will carry you into your next chapter.

Your Profile is A Reflection of You

Your profile isn’t a resume, it’s a part of your story. Have fun developing your profile, considering how you’ve changed and what new goals you have as you write. Remember, your profile is just an opportunity for someone to want to know more. 

Think of it as the ‘trailer’ to the movie of YOU! Include things that make you smile, experiences that matter and give glimpses of your personality, and quirks!

“Perfect Saturday: Blue jeans and t-shirts, grabbing coffee and heading
to the outdoor market with my buddy, a blond lab named ‘Keeper’.”

Before You Begin: The Readiness Check

As you step into the world of online dating, a simple checklist can help you feel prepared and grounded. 

The 1-Minute Reset

1. Take three deep breaths, inviting a sense of calm and curiosity.
2. Ask yourself: “What good energy do I want to bring to this experience?”
3. Smile and think of one thing you’re excited to discover about yourself.

Gather your Profile Power Squad

Again, creating a profile can be fun. Why not ask a friend or two to help you? The truth is we aren’t always the best judges of our own charms. Your friends can help bring your personality to life in your profile. You can ask them questions like:

• What’s one story about me that someone might find interesting?
• What’s something you like about my personality? 
• If you were writing my dating headline, what would it say?

No doubt, this will lead to a lot of great trips down memory lane and many laughs that will add your unique flair to your profile. 

“My humor might best be described as “pun-ishingly good.
Yes, I absolutely love a terrible pun. Looking for someone who can
appreciate my unbelievable sense of humor. lol”

Mentioning Divorce Is Up To You

Divorce is just part of your story and doesn’t need to be mentioned in your profile. That said, you can mention it briefly if you want transparency from the start. If you decide to mention it, keep it neutral and confident.

“Embracing a fresh start and ready for a new adventure.”

As you begin dating, it’s a great time to focus on what you’re excited about for the future rather than looking back. You can casually mention your divorce later in conversation. You can share your experience and what you learned from it in a positive way.

“One of the things I learned from my past marriage is {a positive lesson}.

Let Your True Colors Shine Through Your Photos

The goal is to present the real you in pictures that capture some of your personality and interests.

The Six Essential Shots 📸

• Main Photo – A clear, recent smiling picture in natural light. No filters.

Pro tip: Natural light is your best friend. Stand by a window or in open shade.

• The Activity Shot – A ‘doing something you love’ pic that shows your personality.

Examples: Cooking, hiking, playing music or playing with your pet.

• The Social Shot – A fun shot with 1-2 friends where you’re clearly identifiable.

Note: If you’re rebuilding your social circle, new activity groups or recent events count.

• The Full-Body Shot – Use a current and honest, casual or dressed up picture.

Remember: You’re not auditioning to be your past self, who you are in this moment is more than enough!

• The Conversation Starter – Anything interesting that invites questions. 

Options: Local street art, farmers market, scenic overlook, bookstore, or other unique location.

• The Range Shot –  A picture that shows your versatility, maybe dressed up for an event.

Ideas: Wedding guest photos work great—just check for any telltale signs of your past.

Selecting photos of yourself can be intimidating. This is a great time to ask your friends to help out. You might even gather your ‘Profile Power Squad’ for a fun, casual mini-photoshoot outing. You will likely laugh a ton and create more great memories – and you’ll end up with a collection of authentic pictures that truly capture your personality. 

Things to Avoid

• Sunglasses in every photo. Let your eyes shine through!
• Group photos of too many people where no one can tell which person is you.
• Old or heavily edited photos. Now is the time to share your authentic beauty. 

Keeping Safety in Mind

As you begin to make new connections, it is important to remember a few safety protocols to ensure your comfort and security.

Do:	Create a unique email address to use for dating apps and share only your first name until you feel comfortable.
Do:	Meet in a public place and let a friend know where you’ll be and share location with them.
Do:	Suggest a video call before meeting in person if you prefer.
Do:	Arrange your own transportation and make sure your phone is fully charged.
Do:	Check out their social media and reverse image search their photos – better safe than sorry.
Don’t:	Post your home address or workplace.
Don’t:	Post any information about your daily routine or travel plans.
Don’t:	Share any personal financial information.
Don’t:	Share information about your kids until you are comfortable.
Don’t:	Ignore your intuition. If something feels off, pay attention and remove yourself from the conversation.

What to Look for (and What to Avoid)

Based on your goals, give some thought to what you will look for on other people’s profiles. Whether you are just looking for an easy way to start new conversations, looking to try something new and exciting, or hoping to find love, there are some things to look for and some things to avoid.

🟢 Green Light:

• Specific, positive details that convey authenticity.
• Values that align with your own.
• Kind, respectful, consistent communication.
• Respectful of your pace.
• Makes plans and follows through.

🛑 Red Light: 

• Overly vague or evasive information or responses.
• Pushing for more information (phone number, email, etc.).
• Rushing to meet in private.
• Inconsistent or questionable details.
• Requesting money for any reason (emergency, travel, investment).
• Avoiding video calls with elaborate excuses.
• Photos that look too professional or model-like (or could be AI generated).

Cultivate a Positive Mindset

Allow yourself to experience profile writing as another way to celebrate your story. Moving forward with a positive mindset means embracing the journey and seeing new experiences as opportunities for growth. You can choose to focus on the excitement of new possibilities as you establish who you are and who you want to become. It is helpful to approach each interaction with curiosity, knowing you are okay on your own, and any connection is a bonus. By prioritizing your own well-being and finding joy in the process, you’ll naturally attract connections that align with this positive new chapter. Have fun!

Sample Dating Profile

Headline:

Bio: In my 30s, career stable, heart open. You’ll find me on the highest trails and at the best late-night taco spots, laughing until my face hurts. Looking for a fun co-conspirator for life’s adventures.

About Me:

I’m at a great spot in my life and ready to meet someone to share it with. I’ve built a career I’m proud of, I have a close circle of great friends, and I even cook a mean breakfast burrito. On weekends, you’ll usually find me hiking, cheering for my team, or checking out a local brewery. 

I value honesty, humor, and kindness – the small things matter. 

Two Truths and a Wish: 

I once accidentally hiked over 10 miles in flip flops.

I can cook eggs 7 ways.

I want to learn Italian before my next trip. 

The way to win me over: Be your genuine self and don’t be afraid to nerd out about what you love. 

I’m known for: My laugh – when something’s funny, you’ll definitely know!

Unusual skills: I am a champion hoola-hooper… yes, I’m that good.

My love language: Words of Affirmation – I love it when people express themselves.

A green flag I appreciate: Someone who has heart and can laugh at themselves. 

Perfect first meet: Coffee/Tea and a walk somewhere public and fun. 

Favs: Road trips, board games, live music.

Pet Peeves: People talking on speakerphone in public, people not caring about the earth and WET SOCKS. 

Superpower: Finding the best tacos in any city. 

Currently Learning: How to make pasta, it’s a work in progress.

What I’m looking for: Someone open to an impromptu dance party in the kitchen, and equally excited about a quiet night in or a spontaneous road trip. Bonus points if you can recommend a new taco spot! 

Final Thoughts

Your dating profile is a living introduction that should evolve as you do. Try not to feel pressure to get it “perfect”. This new chapter of your life can feel exciting and overwhelming at the same time, give yourself some grace as these different emotions arise.

Remember: You’re not trying to appeal to everyone. You’re looking for your people—the ones who appreciate your specific humor, share your values, and are excited by the same possibilities you are.

You’re not starting over. You’re starting fresh. There’s a difference, and it shows in every photo, every prompt, and every conversation.

Welcome to this next chapter. 📖